In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
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I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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