I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
