Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
