Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
