porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was confusing and full of hummus
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize