very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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