I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
