lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize