I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
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Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
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You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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