So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
