After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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