I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
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Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
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did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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