..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
one might say we're banned from that church
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
