He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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