You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
