yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
