I accidentally burped into my bong.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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