I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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