lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.