So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?