I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records