My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.