I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
