We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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