so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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