Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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