it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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