You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
