I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
