Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
