Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
