I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
