I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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