Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
