did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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