a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not