Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same