a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.