My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
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Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad