Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
i out mim tonsoeep
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