just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
