Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
