she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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