Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
