I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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