Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank