Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
4 words: hood of his car
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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