Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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