Me. At least after what I've been through.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
