Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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