walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize