In the future we'll all be gay
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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