Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
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She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
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Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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