i think i have two assholes
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm getting married
To pizza
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
