Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
