ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
